How to spank for pleasure

Let’s be honest, when you were a kid, the idea of getting spanked (probably by a parent) was a punishment to be feared. Fast forward a few years, and you might have found yourself fantasizing about being spanked, or maybe you’d prefer to do the spanking yourself.

Erotic spanking is a form of consensual impact play in which you use hands or tools to strike different areas of your partner’s body. As an adult with a healthy sexual appetite, spanking can actually be a reward…or still a punishment, but only if that’s your preference. Being spanked causes your body to release feel-good hormones (aka endorphins) in response to the initial feeling of pain, so it really transforms into a pleasurable experience.

If you’re interested to try with your partner, it’s important to be on the same page. Talking about your expectations beforehand is a great idea. There are lots of tools that you can experiment with to see what works for you.

Whether you’re an absolute beginner or a bondage veteran, you’ve no doubt wondered if you have ever, or inadvertently might, hurt your partner more than you mean to. If so, we offer a few suggestions.

How do I spank my partner correctly?

Safe word

Before you begin, establish a safe word so both of you know if the other needs to stop. As with any pain-pleasure sensation scenario, only ever play within your partner’s limits. Listening to their feedback is the most important and will ensure that you don’t hurt them beyond what they enjoy and welcome.

Techniques

Start with your hands, and practice using both the palms and the fingers. Then try out different locations of the butt. The very top, near the lower back, sides by the hips, the underside of the buttocks and tops of the thighs, and middle of the cheeks. Get your partner to give you feedback and tell you what feels good. Then let them do the same to you. This will give you a better idea of whether you prefer to be the spanker or spankee.

Spanking toys

Once you’ve mastered spanking with your hands, try out some toys. There are lots to choose from, and whether you’re a beginner or an enthusiast, we have something that will spark your desire.

Please note that all spanking action should be performed with the wrist rather than with the whole arm – this gives you better control of the force.

Read on to learn more about the different types of spanking devices, or shop our full range of spankers, floggers and ticklers – pick a tool, and start exploring pain-pleasure sensation play.

What are the most used spankers in bondage play?

Floggers

A flogger is a multi-tailed implement, typically made of soft leather, and used to strike a person. To flog your lover is to hit their buttocks or back repeatedly with a flogger, usually while they are restrained. You may wish to run the tassels over your sub’s skin to tease and arouse them, then yank back and spank them with it. After inflicting some pain, perhaps you want to soothe your lover by gently rubbing the sensitive skin with massage oil.

Our bondage floggers are made out of leather, with excellent grip and salacious pleasure in mind. Use a mouth gag to muffle screams during spanking.

Intrigued and ready to go? We recommend the Rouge Short Leather Flogger With Studs (pictured).

20% OFF
Rouge Short Leather Flogger With Studs | Bondage Flogger | Rouge | Bodyjoys
Regular price £29.59
Regular price £36.99 Sale price £29.59

This flogger by Rouge is a favourite among bondage enthusiasts. If you and your partner are keen on experimenting with pain-pleasure sensations, then this stylish leather flogger with studded handle is here to help. Try running the flogger’s tassels over your sub’s skin to tease and arouse them, then yank it back and spank them with it.

Or if you rather opt for a braided flogger, check out the Sportsheets Saffron Braided Flogger (see picture).

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Sportsheets Saffron Braided Flogger | Bondage Flogger | Sportsheets | Bodyjoys
Regular price £39.99
Regular price Sale price £39.99

Enter the exhilarating world of impact play with the Braided Flogger from Sportsheets’ Saffron collection. This seductive cat-o-nine-tails faux leather flogger intensifies your pleasure like never before. With its thick braided tails, each ending in a tantalising faux leather tip reminiscent of a riding crop, you’ll experience nine perfectly stinging snaps that leave their mark on any willing participant.

Spanking paddles

A spanking paddle is a tool used to strike a person, delivering more intense, and potentially more painful sensations than a flogger. The wide, flat head of the paddle is ideal for delivering a firmer slap across a large area with minimal force, and it’s easier to hit the intended area on your sub’s body, which makes them great for newbie-spankers.

Most of our paddles are made of leather or suede, which inflict a softer slap than wooden ones. These make a satisfyingly sharp smacking sound when they hit the skin, which adds a thrilling dimension to being spanked or paddled.

Not sure which paddle is right for your kinky play? Why not opt for Sex And Mischief Enchanted Heart Paddle (pictured)?

Sex And Mischief Enchanted Heart Paddle | Bondage Spanking Paddle | Sportsheets | Bodyjoys
Regular price £24.99
Regular price Sale price £24.99

Soft and sensual or sassy and sadistic? This heart paddle by Sex & Mischief with its two different sides allows you to pat or spank your sub whatever your mood.

Or, for more intense play, take a look at the Sportsheets Saffron Acrylic Spanker (pictured).

Sportsheets Saffron Acrylic Spanker | Bondage Spanking Paddle | Sportsheets | Bodyjoys
Regular price £39.99
Regular price Sale price £39.99

Turn up the heat with the Saffron Acrylic Spanker from Sportsheets. Harder, faster, and more intense—this spanker is designed to take your pleasure to new heights. Featuring an impact surface with 13 intense, die-cut holes, it reduces air resistance for lightning-fast swings and harder hits that will leave your partner begging for more.

Bondage whips

A whip is a long, flexible tool designed to strike sharply. Whips are employed in kinky bondage play to explore more enticingly intense sensations of erotic spanking, generally to discipline your disobedient submissive.

Like bondage canes and crops, the whips’ slender surface generally inflicts a sharper sting than floggers or paddles. As with other bondage toys, the aim is not to harm, but to use pain to enhance sensation and sexual pleasure. Start slow and only ever go as far as your playmate is comfortable with.

Need a little direction? Why not check out the 19-inches Suede Whip (pictured)?

15% OFF
Suede Whip 19 Inches | Bondage Whip | Rimba | Bodyjoys
Regular price £42.49
Regular price £49.99 Sale price £42.49

Experience the enticing sensations of erotic spanking by adding this soft suede leather whip to your bondage play. This raunchy whip with 19 strings is designed to both punish and arouse, it can be used for delicate tickles but also for hard spanks.

And if you want to spice up your bondage play, take a look at the Long Arabian Whip (pictured).

Long Arabian Whip Black | Bondage Whip | Rimba | Bodyjoys
Regular price £147.99
Regular price Sale price £147.99

This high-quality Arabian whip by Rimba is made from black leather and is designed to strike sharply. This long and flexible whip can be employed in kinky bondage play to explore more enticingly intense sensations of erotic spanking, generally to discipline your disobedient submissive.

Bondage canes and crops

If whips and floggers aren’t your thing, maybe you’d prefer to try a crop or crane. Our selection of crops and canes can be used for gentle strokes, but are generally employed to keep your naughty submissive in check and under strict supervision.

Similar to whips, canes and riding crops tend to provide a sharper, more intense stinging sensation than floggers and paddles. To cause a pronounced “smack” sound, flick your wrist when the cane comes into contact with your partner’s skin.

For a good smack, we recommend the Rouge Garments Riding Crop (pictured).

Rouge Garments Riding Crop Purple | Bondage Crop | Rouge | Bodyjoys
Regular price £14.99
Regular price Sale price £14.99

Discover and experience thrilling sensations by adding this purple leather riding crop by Rouge to your bondage play. This feisty bondage crop with leather grip and hand-braided shaft is designed to both punish and arouse.

And for a sharper sting, you might consider the medium-sized Riding Whip from Rimba (pictured).

Riding Whip Medium | Bondage Crop | Rimba | Bodyjoys
Regular price £28.99
Regular price Sale price £28.99

Explore thrilling sensations by adding this deluxe horse riding crop to your bondage play. This naughty riding whip made of carbon fibre with its soft handle and tail is designed to both punish and arouse. Discipline your sub with a smack, or arouse your playmate with teasing slaps from this crop.