5 ways to boost your partner's sexual confidence

One of the most common bedroom issues is low self-esteem and lack of confidence. At some point, we all experience these issues to some extent, and it’s completely natural to feel less than sexy from time to time.

If you’re noticing diminished sexual self-esteem in your partner, or you’re trying to move forward into something a little more adventurous, then we’ve got you covered. Here are a few suggestions for improving your partner’s self-confidence and making sex better for both of you.

Why do people lose their sexual confidence?

There are many reasons why people might lose confidence in the bedroom. Some of the most common issues affecting sexual confidence include:

  • Your mind is stuck on other things, and you can’t relax enough to get into the mood
  • Ageing and the hormonal changes it brings. The teenage sex-drive is not meant to last forever!
  • Long-term relationships. The connection loses its spark sometimes, especially after many years together. This doesn’t mean that you find each other less desirable, but rather that life sometimes gets in the way
  • Many women lose confidence in their bodies during and after pregnancy and, thanks to significant changes to the body, energy levels and hormones, just don’t feel sexy
  • Negative past experiences with other partners can make you reluctant to try certain things again with someone else
  • Rejection can cause massive issues. Sure, there are times when you might not be in the mood, but there’s only so many times that you can turn your partner down without them feeling it’s their fault

No matter what the reason for your partner’s lack of confidence, you have the power to help them fix it.

How to boost your partner’s sexual confidence

It’s important that you talk to your partner about what’s causing their lack of confidence, if they are willing to share. There may be more than one reason. Ask them how you can help to repair those issues, and work together to create new connections to strengthen your sexual relationship. Sex and intimacy is all about trust. Your partner wants to feel safe and sexy when they’re around you.

1. Sex starts outside the bedroom

Let your partner know that you desire them. Send a text during the day to tell them how hot they looked the night before, or randomly approach them in the kitchen to cop a quick feel. These behaviours show your partner that they’re sexy, even when just going about their normal day.

2. Sounds go a long way

During sex, show your partner that what they’re doing feels good for you. A few moans or sensual ‘yes’ affirmations will turn them on and push them to want to do more. Your sounds show them that they’re doing a good job and that you really want to be there.

3. Sex and porn are different things

While porn is popular with some people, it can also have damaging effects for both men and women. Not least because it sets a bar where people feel that they need to look and act like porn stars in order to be sexy. It may also make watchers feel inadequate about their performance and size.

It’s time to get rid of those ideologies. Remember, porn is fictional! Its visual elements are exaggerated, and many positions in porn are chosen based on camera angles, rather than on what feels good. Stop focusing on what either of you “should” look like or do, and direct your attention purely towards what feels great. This will deepen your connection as a couple.

4. Catch them when they’re at their best and most confident

Some people are more confident in certain situations. Try to capture that mood and take it home with you. The happier and more confident they feel before you get down to business, the better they’ll feel during sex.

For example, some people feel more confident after an evening entertaining, having been the centre of attention all night – continue in that vein when you take it upstairs.

Others might feel more confident and relaxed after a long hot bath or shower, or after they’ve made an effort getting ready to go out. Take that mood as your signal and make them feel even better about themselves.

5. Make it all about them

Often, one of the biggest confidence killers is one partner’s desire to please the other. If your partner is worried about their performance in bed, boost their confidence by making sure they know that you want to please them, too. Spend some time making them feel good, until they are relaxed and excited enough to reciprocate.

Sometimes sex toys can boost the mood. Whether you like more pinpointed stimulation or more powerful vibrations, more thrust or more throb, our toy range covers all your moods and desires. Surprise them with something out of the ordinary and tell them how much it turns you on to please them. Your confidence and tenacity will rub off on them and they’ll be excited to return the favour.

Take a look at the Satisfyer Sweet Treat Spinnator Clitoral Vibrator for a guaranteed fun time (see picture). This powerful massager is a versatile toy for broad stimulation and deep vibrations, suitable for anyone who enjoys indirect clitoral stimulation and for couples that relish erogenous massage play.