Sexual well-being is a hot topic these days. It’s not just about how you behave in bed with a partner, but about how you feel about your own body, sexuality, and the quality of your sexual experiences.
As you get older or settle into a long-term relationship with a partner, it’s natural to feel your sex life becoming a little stale. Other priorities just get in the way sometimes. But there are lots of ways to bring the heat back by stimulating your self-confidence and improving your sexual health.
Researching new techniques can help you bring more bang to the bedroom. Surprise your partner with your prowess, and it’ll give you a little ego boost, too. There’s no shame in researching new sex tips – on the contrary, your partner is sure to appreciate and thank you for it.
There is an infinite variety of vibrators, massage tools, lubes, and strap-ons out there to help you spice up your normal routine. It’ll make you feel that little bit naughtier and you and your partner can bond over finding the best toys for you.
One of the main reasons why people struggle with their sexual well-being and confidence is because they don’t know their own desires well enough. How are you supposed to feel comfortable with other people touching your body if you aren’t confident in doing it yourself?
Masturbation, the use of sex toys and scheduling regular self-play sessions all can help you to understand your own body and to know what you like. You’ll feel more comfortable and less stressed, meaning you’ll naturally be up for more intimate times with your partner.
Now that you know what you like, you need to let your partner know. If they’re doing all the wrong things in their efforts to turn you on, it’s not going to happen. Invite them to talk about what you’d like them to do to you, and vice versa. If you focus on listening to and connecting with each other, you’ll both learn a few new things, and deepen your intimacy.
Your sexual desires will change over time and it’s natural to want different things as your hormones change. It will be the same for your partner. In other words, this isn’t a one-time conversation. Stay in touch with your desires and share them with each other. It might even be a turn-on.
Remember to communicate during sex too. If something isn’t working for you, gradually move your partner’s hands or tongue and show them what you like. They’re likely to love that you’re confident in letting them know what you want.
If you feel you’ve lost some confidence, don’t pressure yourself to launch straight back into penetrative sex right away. Work up to it gradually. The most important thing is to feel relaxed and comfortable.
Turn down the lights, have a glass of wine, put on some chilled music, and allow yourself time to enjoy. Remember, sex should be fun and leave you wanting more. Don’t put the act on a pedestal and pressurise yourself. This is your time to share with your partner – forget about everything else.
One of the biggest things that affects sexual well-being and damages your desire for sex is continuing to have the same experience every time. If you stick to the same routine every time, even sex can get boring.
Sex doesn’t always have to happen in bed at night. However, a common problem for couples that have been together for a long time, are both working, and/or have kids, is that bed time is the only time you can be alone together and focused just on each other.
Try to change the times and places that you have sex. Keep it interesting by meeting up in your lunch break or by trying mid-morning sex at the weekend.
You could also move sex to other locations to give you a change of scenery. Try your living room, on the dining table, or even outside in the car. The change in environment also forces you to try new positions and techniques, promising thrills for you both.
Valentine’s Day is great, but it’s not the only day where you and your partner should make an extra effort in the bedroom. Your sex life always matters! There are plenty of other excuses to get wild and crazy and to pamper your partner with a new sensual experience.
Try not to start off by undressing just because it’s quicker! Don’t follow the same steps to get to penetrative sex every time. Try different types of foreplay, mutual masturbation or elongated kissing to add heat and anticipation.
Add new dimensions to your erotic repertoire: tell each your desires, be open to exploring and experimenting with each other, and get curious about unexplored erogenous zones.
Why not browse our selection of toys for changing your bedroom routine and turn up the heat? Try a strap-on, a vibrating cock-ring or a couples’ sex toy for you both to enjoy. Or take our word for it – we recommend the Rocks-Off Two-Vibe Ultimate Flexible Pleasure Couples' Vibe (see picture).
The pink Two-Vibe is a dual-motored couples’ or solo vibrator by Rocks-Off with a flexibility that allows you to adjust it to the most satisfying fit. The super soft, fully bendable shaft allows you to explore multiple penetrative possibilities either with your partner, or for a thrilling solo session. The slim insertable shaft is slender enough to be worn during penetrative sex, and the ergonomic stimulation point can be uniquely positioned to target your favourite hot spot.
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If you need some help or new ideas, refer to our helpful couples’ sex toys guides or our 101 advice on bondage play to get some guidance on choosing the right bedroom essentials.
Always remember that sex needs to be pleasurable for both of you, so guide your partner to please you in the ways that you need. They want you to enjoy yourself too, it’s why they’re there, so don’t feel selfish for pushing your own agenda occasionally. If you need more foreplay, make it happen! Take charge, be confident.
