Is foreplay better than sex?
Foreplay is an essential part of the whole sexual experience. A lot of people don’t realise that this can and should mean more than just using fingers or tongue to smooth the way for penetrative sex.
Many people out there still believe that sex is just about penetration. But getting stuck in straight away can unfortunately leave you feeling disappointed and unfulfilled – especially women, whose orgasmic potential and arousal takes longer to awaken than men’s. But there are plenty of good reasons why foreplay is important for all of you.
Why is foreplay important?
Foreplay is a huge part of the sexual experience. It allows you to form a deeper connection with your partner, gives you a more sensual experience, and can bring you closer to orgasm before penetration.
The act of foreplay doesn’t just start with touching. In fact, the whole process can begin much earlier than this, if you want it to. To create the deepest connection with your partner and increase your mutual desire, you need to use all of your senses.
Although you may think of sensuality as purely physical enjoyment, there is also a mindset involved. While it’s partly about paying close attention to your senses, it also involves experiencing joy and pleasure through accepting yourself and each other just as you are.
Enjoying our senses
1. Sight
Sight is the very first step when it comes to foreplay. Physical attraction creates the need to touch someone and be closer to them. Wearing clothes or a sexy lingerie set that your partner likes – or perhaps wearing nothing at all? – is sure to get the blood pumping.
2. Smell
We’re not necessarily talking about perfume. When you’re close to your partner, you might find that their natural scent is way more of a turn-on. Our sweat contains pheromones and hormones that change as our desire heightens, and liking your partner’s smell is a common aspect of intimacy and attraction. The smell of their deodorant or perfume may also turn you on, as the familiarity causes your body to produce oxytocin, aka the love hormone.
3. Touch
While touching is physical, it doesn’t have to be hardcore to get the juices flowing. Light, tickling touches across the arms, chest and inner thighs can take you to the edge. You can also use this as an opportunity to explore your partner’s body – watch their reactions to find out what they like.
4. Sound
It’s a well-known fact that the sounds that your partner makes during sex are a massive turn-on. It indicates that they’re enjoying it. But there are other ways to use sounds to set the scene for a passionate night – try making a special playlist to get you both in the mood.
5. Taste
Tasting your partner can mean anything from kissing, tracing their skin with your tongue, oral sex, or playing with edible massage oils or candles. Get creative and use your mouth to indulge in your partner in as many ways as possible, heightening arousal for both of you.
The sixth sense
Conceptual thought is now known to be our sixth sense. It refers to the way we visualise and imagine situations, even if they aren’t happening right in front of us.
Conceptual thought plays a massive part in foreplay. In this way, foreplay can begin outside of the physical, because you can get each other excited without even being in the same room.
Phone sex and texts, sharing intimate photos and sexting are technically all foreplay, as they allow you to use your imagination and act out scenarios with your partner before getting any of the other senses involved.
It’s a great way to get the mood flowing in the hours or days before you meet.
Foreplay and the senses
Foreplay is much more than a route straight to sex. Using all of your senses to discover each other creates an intimate and sensual experience that can make you climax more easily, and will intensify pleasure for both partners when you get down to it. It also helps you to build confidence with each other and encourages you to try out new things.
Remember, foreplay is all about giving your partner an amazing experience. If you both keep this in mind and consider all of your senses when engaging in sensual play, you’ll start to see and feel the benefits of drawing out your sessions.
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